What my father taught me

Given today's holiday, it only makes sense to discuss a topic related to Fathers.  My dad was and is a loving father.  Growing up he was always one of my biggest supporters, and was very present in my life.  From helping me with geometry homework, to teaching me how to play tennis, from showing me how to check the fluids in my car, to teaching me how to drive a stick shift.  A few years ago, I found out that he had still kept all of my various report cards, awards, trophies, etc.   He was my biggest fan in everything I did.  I was and am very lucky to have a father like that.  I should add here that he had an excellent role model for how to be a good father.  My grandfather was the same way - devoted to his family, being there for his children and grandchildren.   And I'm happy to say that my dad is definitely following that lead.

I was thinking earlier about all of the things my father taught me, and I have come to the conclusion that the best thing was to think for myself - to think independently.  Maybe "taught" isn't the right word because if you hear my parents tell it, I was born that way - independent and a bit ornery.  So, let's say my dad "fostered," or "encouraged" my independence, or at least knew better than to quash it.

My dad, actually both my parents, taught by example, for the most part,  never really forcing their ideas on us.  They encouraged whatever interests we showed, whether music, art, sports, school, etc.  (Once we started something, though, they did want us to stick with it and see it through.)  They encouraged us to question "why," or again, at least didn't prevent all of our questioning.   They wanted us to know how things worked, how to do things for ourselves, and how to think for ourselves.  As a result, my brothers and I grew up to be fairly independent thinkers, happily, not kids to give in much to pressures from friends or society.  We didn't believe everything we were told or heard on the television.  We would try to find answers that satisfied us about whether something was true.  We didn't do something just because everyone else was doing it.  We knew why we were doing things - because we wanted to do them, and usually we were aware of the consequences.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we didn't make mistakes, or get into trouble because of the decisions we made.  We certainly did.  But being taught or encouraged to think for ourselves (with our parents and other adults in our life as good role models), was a good tool, and something that has served us well as we have gotten older.  Whether it is politics or the news, or the random emails or posts on Facebook that just sound a little too slanted or unbelievable.  To this day, I don't just accept things like that as Gospel, but if I care enough to know the truth, I will seek it out myself and make my own opinions or decisions.

To be clear, I don't agree with everything my parents believe, and my brothers and I often disagree, but that is because we have been taught to think for ourselves - to establish our own principles and beliefs.  I know my parents are proud of who I have become, and they are proud of the way they have raised me.  And although ultimately they may wish I was a little less independent, as I have lived on the other side of the country from them for almost 15 years now, they know they taught me well, and gave me tools to be happy in life.

What was something your father taught you?

Forget the Cherries

So most of you have probably heard the phrase "life is just a bowl of cherries," meaning that everything is going well or life is carefree.  Well, as much as I love cherries, I love cheddar cheese more.  I grew up eating Tillamook Medium Cheddar Cheese, and still do today (although now I have to find it in specialty deli sections of the grocery stores here in Massachusetts).  As I've gotten older, my tastes have broadened and my palate has become more refined (probably an arguable point), but cheddar cheese is still a staple - a go-to flavor.  So, for me, the better phrase is "life is just a loaf of cheddar cheese."

Of course that phrase is often used ironically.  Life isn't always a loaf of cheddar cheese.  If you're really living, life includes the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I'm not 100% sure what finally prompted me to start a blog.  It wasn't something I've been longing to do or really had any designs on doing.  I don't think I have anything particularly insightful to share or opinions that just have to come out.  But maybe putting my musings in writing will be a form of self analysis, or maybe something I share will spark a conversation, or will resonate with a reader.  I have many ideas of what I may want to write about in this blog, most of which, I'm sure in the light of day tomorrow, will be discarded.  They say you have to have a focus - a clear topic of interest.  Right now, though, I find myself thinking about various aspects of life like relationships and dating, family, work, new homes and new chapters in life.  So for now, I think I will start with my thoughts on and experiences with some of those - when life is and isn't just a loaf of cheddar cheese.